But Will Not Cut And Run
From 'Cut And Run,' President Says
By ANDY BOROWITZ
Borowitzreport.com
Responding to criticism that he has dropped the phrase "stay the course" from his speeches about Iraq, President George W. Bush said today that he would stay the course of refusing to say the words "stay the course."
"There are terrorist folks out there who would like nothing better than to see me say the words 'stay the course' again," Mr. Bush said in a feisty White House press conference. "But I have decided to stay the course of not using the phrase 'stay the course.'"
Asked why he had decided to stay the course of refusing to use the phrase "stay the course," the president said, "If I didn't stay the course of refusing to use the phrase 'stay the course,' it would send a confusing message, and I am trying to do the opposite of that."
While reaffirming his decision to no longer use the phrase "stay the course," Mr. Bush had more positive things to say about the phrase "cut and run," which will continue to appear in his speeches on Iraq.
"I have no intention of cutting and running from the phrase 'cut and run,'" the president vowed.
Mr. Bush expressed impatience with the situation in Iraq, especially with the slow pace of Iraqi efforts to develop their own meaningless slogans.
"The time has come for the Iraqi government to concoct meaningless slogans of their own," Mr. Bush said.
Elsewhere, after a new study showed that heavy cell phone use kills male sperm, Britney Spears ordered husband Kevin Federline to talk on the phone during sex.
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