Go, Rudy, Go

Giuliani’s Ex-wives March on Washington
Police Estimate Crowd at 200,000


By ANDY BOROWITZ
www.borowitzreport.com

In a dramatic display of political strength in numbers, an organization comprising the ex-wives of Republican presidential candidate Rudolph Giuliani marched on Washington today, demanding that their thousands of voices be heard.

The organization, which calls itself Focus on the Ex-Family and which claims as its members all 300,000 former wives of the former New York City mayor, marched from the Capitol building to the White House in one of the largest political demonstrations in recent memory.

By organizing the massive demonstration in the nation’s capital, the exes of New York’s former mayor were hoping to prove that they are the Republican Party’s largest single voting bloc and thus deserve a prominent role in choosing the G.O.P. nominee.

Carol Foyler, executive director of Focus on the Ex-Family, said that over 250,000 ex-wives of Mr. Giuliani had turned out for the march, although police estimated the crowd at closer to 200,000.

Still, according to Washington mayor Adrian M. Fenty, the turnout was impressive: “It’s amazing that Rudy has so many wives, and he isn’t even the Mormon guy in this race.”

By standing up and demanding that they be counted, Mr. Giuliani’s hundreds of thousands of ex-wives may have a profound impact on the way the nation perceives the former New York City mayor, according to Davis Logsdon, head of the political science department at the University of Minnesota.

“For some time, Rudolph Giuliani has been thought of as ‘America’s Mayor,’” Dr. Logsdon said. “This march on Washington shows that he is ‘America’s Ex-husband,’ too.”

Elsewhere, in recognition of Daylight Savings Time, President Bush set the country back fifty years.

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