"Grossest Three-Way In History"

Edwards Blasts Obama for Criticizing
Hillary’s Claim That Obama Criticized Edwards

Iowans Confused By Charges, Countercharges, Counter-countercharges


By ANDY BOROWITZ
www.borowitzreport.com

An already perplexing Iowa race became even more impenetrable today as former Sen. John Edwards blasted Sen. Barack Obama for criticizing Sen. Hillary Clinton’s claim that Sen. Obama had criticized Sen. Edwards.

At a campaign rally in Cedar Rapids, the former North Carolina senator said that the Illinois senator’s criticism of the New York senator for claiming that the Illinois senator had criticized the North Carolina senator was “an attempt to confuse the voters.”

Mr. Edwards’ comments set off a new round of charges, countercharges, and counter-countercharges between the three Democratic rivals, with Sen. Obama lashing out at Sen. Clinton for supporting Mr. Edwards’ criticism of Sen. Obama’s criticism of Sen. Clinton.

In a particularly nasty remark, Mr. Obama called Mr. Edwards a son of a mill worker, “but not in so many words.”

Davis Logsdon, chairman of the political science department at the University of Minnesota, says that the Edwards-Obama-Clinton battle royal may be contributing to Iowa voters’ fatigue: “Without a doubt, the Iowa caucuses are turning into the grossest three-way in history.”

New polls taken after the latest volleys and counter-volleys between the three candidates were inconclusive, as a majority of Iowans polled said they were “totally sick of being polled.”

With less than a week to go before the Iowa caucuses, 61% of likely voters agreed with the statement, “If one more stupid pollster asks me one more retarded question I swear I will go postal on his ass, I am not kidding.”


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