Obama Wins Country Music Entertainer of the Year

Extends Amazing String of Victories

By ANDY BOROWITZ
www.borowitzreport.com

Coming off a weekend in which he racked up victories in Nebraska, Washington, Louisiana, the Virgin Islands and Maine, Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) extended his amazing winning streak yesterday by being named the Country Music Association’s Entertainer of the Year.

For Mr. Obama, who is not a country music entertainer, the award represents a significant upset since it had been expected to go to longtime country favorite Kenny Chesney.

Mr. Obama barely had time to cobble together an acceptance speech when he received word that he had also won the Nobel Prize for Chemistry.

The Illinois senator had been considered a long-shot to win the Nobel, given his history of not being a chemist, but the Nobel committee awarded it to him nonetheless, passing over the prohibitive favorite for the prize, Dr. Hiroshi Kyosuke.

Reached at his laboratory in Tokyo, where he has been studying the molecular basis of eukaryotic transcription for the past forty years, Dr. Kyosuke said he had “no hard feelings” about losing the chemistry prize to a non-chemist, explaining, “If anyone else had beaten me, I’d be upset, but Barack Obama? I do love him so.”

The news about the Nobel Prize was slightly overshadowed by the release of a new poll today showing Senator Obama defeating Hannah Montana in a head-to-head match-up.

The poll showed Mr. Obama defeating Ms. Montana 67 percent to 31 percent among people who describe themselves as rabid fans of Hannah Montana.

Elsewhere, seeking funds for her cash-strapped campaign, Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY) fired her campaign manager and replaced her with Heather Mills McCartney.

Andy Borowitz's New Book - $11.53 at Amazon.com