Emergency Bailout Shocker

McCain Supports
Bailing Out of Debate

Urges Comprehensive Debate Bailout Package

Gov. Palin detailed a series of bold initiatives....

By ANDY BOROWITZ
www.borowitzreport.com

Saying that "desperate times call for desperate measures," GOP presidential nominee John McCain announced today that he would personally bail out of Friday's scheduled presidential debate.

"As of today, I am officially bailing out of the debate," Sen. McCain told reporters in Washington today. "And I invite Sen. Obama to join me in this bailout effort."

Sen. McCain said he would be putting together what he called "a comprehensive debate bailout package," which could include bailing out of the other two scheduled debates as well.

When asked what motivated his dramatic bailout proposal, Sen. McCain said, "When I woke up this morning and I saw those terrible numbers, I knew that a bailout was necessary to keep those numbers from getting worse."

Mr. McCain refused to answer a reporter's question about whether he was talking about economic numbers or poll numbers, saying, "I am bailing out of any response to that question."

GOP vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin said that she would join in her running mate's bailout effort by bailing out of her debate with Delaware senator Joseph Biden.

In a campaign stop in Michigan, Gov. Palin detailed a series of bold initiatives, including building a twenty-foot-high fence between her and the press.

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