Pitbull Owners Blast Palin

Comparison ‘Offensive,’
Dog Fanciers Complain


By ANDY BOROWITZ
www.borowitzreport.com

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, who famously compared herself to a pitbull in her vice-presidential acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention, appears to have antagonized a key voting bloc in the upcoming election, the nation's pitbull owners.

While Gov. Palin's assertion that the only difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull was "lipstick" drew a loud ovation from the Republican faithful in St. Paul, it raised the ire of the Pitbull Anti-Defamation League, a powerful association of pitbull fanciers who monitor the portrayal of pitbulls in the media.

"As someone who has owned pitbulls for the past twenty years, my jaw dropped," said Carol Foyler, the group's executive director. "Most of us are thinking the same thing: enough is enough."

Ms. Foyler said that for pitbull owners who have grown weary of their prized dogs being defamed and mistreated, Gov. Palin's wisecrack was the last straw: "We're all like, first the Michael Vick thing, and now this."

Tracy Klugian, an irate pitbull owner from Buffalo, New York, echoed Ms. Foyler's sentiments: "I can think of many differences between pitbulls and Gov. Palin -- for starters, pitbulls don't try to get their ex-brothers-in-law fired."

With Sens. Barack Obama (D-Ill) and John McCain (R-Ariz) fighting for every last vote, a coveted voting bloc like pitbull owners could very well decide the 2008 election, political insiders believe.

While Gov. Palin was not available for comment on the pitbull controversy, a spokesperson for the McCain-Palin ticket offered this official statement: "Gov. Palin does in fact have one thing in common with a pitbull: neither is capable of answering questions from reporters."

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