I DIDN'T DO IT
By Richard J. Guitton
Partner With Content Man, Destruction Of A Newspaper
[He Made Me Do It]
Sleepy's Gazette is America's youngest continuously [but not for much longer] published shopper.
Sorry to insult most reputable shoppers, who don't pretend to be anything else.
We've been killing this newspaper for more than a year, and we're surprised it's still here.
In short, I want to say I am not responsible for any of this mess. We were shocked, shocked at all that has been found out. We were even more shocked that some people cared. Of yeah, we still have some real reporters and columnists and editors, but how long can they expect to last?
There is nothing more sacred to us than just ripping heart out of everything The Courant once stood for.
"Hey, tell that guy to stop with the copper tubing … that's executive office material."
As I was saying, if I had to say I was sorry for why we suck so bad, I would have to get a new memo from the lawyer.
We want to assure all you suckers that we will continue to fuck up this operation as long as we can get away with it. If there's anything left to salvage after someone catches up with me, it's not my fault.