Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Iraq Study Group Report To Be Filmed As Sequel To ‘Dumb And Dumber’

Studio Seeks
Jim Carrey
For Bush Role


By ANDY BOROWITZ
borowitzreport.com


Just days after its official release, the report of the Iraq Study Group has attracted the attention of Hollywood, where New Line Cinema has acquired the rights to adapt the report as a sequel in the “Dumb and Dumber” film series.

The report, which indicates that the situation in Iraq is grave and deteriorating, did not seem at first glance to be the raw material for a Hollywood comedy blockbuster, but in announcing the new movie, tentatively titled “Dumberer and Dumberest,” executives at New Line begged to differ.

“For the past few years, we’ve been pulling our hair out trying to come up with another sequel to ‘Dumb and Dumber,’” said studio spokesperson JoBeth Krantz. “We believe that in the Iraq Study Group’s report we have a ‘Dumb and Dumber’ sequel that will write itself.”

The studio confirmed that it had outbid several other production entities for the movie rights to the Iraq Study Group’s report, including Paramount Pictures, who had hoped to adapt the document as a sequel to “Jackass.”

But New Line’s plan to land Jim Carrey for the role of President George W. Bush may have hit an unexpected snag, as the actor today said he had “no interest” in playing the part.

“I just finished reading the Iraq Study Group’s report,” Mr. Carrey told reporters. “I can play dumb, but not that dumb.”

Elsewhere, actor Nicholas Cage said he planned to cut back on acting, while actor Ben Affleck said he had started cutting back on acting several films ago.

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I will take the part of Bush. However
I will not work unless Cheney is played by my friend John Banner (aka Sgt. Shultz-from from "Hogan's Heros" tv fame). You remember, "I see nothing, I hear nothing, I know nothing!!!!

Oh... that's right, Banner died years ago. Ah, I don't think anyone will notice.

Sincerely,

Werner Klemperer
(aka Col. Klink from "Hogan's Heros" tv fame).