Sunday, April 05, 2009

Jim Cramer Declares Depression Over; Millions Panic

‘Run for Your Lives,'
Heard on Wall Street


CNBC financial pundit Jim Cramer declared the global depression "over" on his "Mad Money" program on Thursday, causing widespread panic around the world and sparking the largest stock sell-off in history.

Just moments after Mr. Cramer delivered his upbeat prediction, stock prices went into an epic free-fall unprecedented in the annals of modern trading as millions of investors rushed for the exits.

"Cramer says the depression is over!" one Wall Street trader was heard shouting on the NYSE floor. "Run for your lives!"

Carol Foyler, an equities analyst for Morgan Stanley, said that Mr. Cramer's optimistic prediction "confirmed all of our darkest fears."

"These are very scary times on Wall Street," Ms. Foyler said. "This news from Jim Cramer may have been the last nail in the coffin."

Seemingly oblivious to the panic he had caused, Mr. Cramer appeared on his program again on Friday and predicted that North Korea would never launch a long-range missile.

"Folks, I'm telling you, there's no way that missile will be launched," he said. "You heard it here first!"

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