'Snake rolled around in the gravel like a man on fire, still managing to beat his chest with pride'
EDITOR’S NOTE: We don’t know where this tall tale is going. We just know it’s going nowhere good. Up next: The Legend of The Snake.
RIVER CITY, CT -- The Snake scared all the women away.
Maybe he was excited about his meteoric rise from librarian to page one editor. We never knew why he slithered the way he did. After a while, we just watched. Some enjoyed his performances. Others fled.
Reporter Nancy Treadmill gulped and her eyes seemed to jut out as if someone had pumped her head through an ear with a basketball needle. Simultaneously, she emitted an unnatural shriek like metal on metal from a car crash. This distracted us momentarily from The Snake’s impressive athletic feat.